The Clarion

Issue date: 10/28/09 Section: Opinion

Rest easy, Madisonians - our fair city just got safer.

The city council, in its infinite wisdom, has recently passed a law banning the sale of novelty lighters within the city of Madison. Apparently, there have been as many as three deaths across the entire nation within the past two years, all children, casualties of accidental fires caused by novelty lighters.

To date, there have been no incidents of accidental fires caused by novelty lighters in Madison - or even in the state of Wisconsin, for that matter. However, in their fervor to protect Madison children from suffering a fiery demise, the city council has preemptively passed this ordinance, which levies a $500-per-day fine against anyone who sells novelty lighters within the city of Madison.

Proponents of the law cite the dangers of novelty lighters looking like toys to children, pointing out that these devices can start accidental fires once finding their way into children's hands. Kids' natural curiosity, they say, makes these lighters dangerous because they look like toys; allow the scourge of novelty lighters to blemish the community any longer and it's only a matter of time before some poor hapless child who doesn't know any better burns the entire city down.

Never mind that all of the accidental fires started by children in the Madison area have been with conventional lighters, and never mind that it's ultimately a parent's responsibility to educate their children about the dangers of potentially hazardous items (such as lighters) and keep them away from children. Banning things takes the thinking out of everyday living, and is easier for everyone, so why not?

Why not ban every item or substance that can even remotely be considered a danger? Why stop at novelty lighters - regular lighters are dangerous and start fires, too - why not ban them? Candles also start many an accidental fire - perhaps we should ban the sale of candles in Madison as well. Gas stoves have open flames, and use natural gas - a highly flammable substance - to operate; perhaps they should also be banned.

And, there are so many other threats to our children besides fire - perhaps the City Council should look into banning other dangers to our children. Loud music can damage hearing; perhaps we should ban the sale of headphones to ensure people aren't listening to music too loudly. Cars are dangerous - thousands of children nationwide are killed every year in car accidents. Perhaps we should ban cars as well. Indeed, using the logic of the Madison City Council, virtually any item or practice in our daily lives could be proclaimed too dangerous, requiring government paternalism to interfere with how citizens live.

It's pretty incredible that the Madison City CouncilProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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eemingly has nothing better to do than to pass frivolous, nanny-state legislation such as this novelty lighter ban. Rather than protecting the public, laws such as these only serve to undermine individual freedoms and breed contempt for a legislative system clogged with trifling, unnecessary restrictions and regulations for everyday behavior.

But at least we won't all burn in a fire.

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